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Permalink Reply by Ailsa June MacLean on October 9, 2015 at 13:26

There is a lot to be said for humour and laughter especially in this world of violence and sadness.

Should you poke fun at a disabled person? Certainly not! Can you joke with a disabled person? Of course you can.

There's a fine line between joking with someone and joking about someone, the latter, in my book, shouldn't happen because it's not funny to be poked fun at whether you are disabled or not.

I am one of those people who jokes about disability all the time when I'm in company and know that they are feeling awkward. The humour definitely breaks down the barriers. The more people try to avoid saying something about disability the more they seem to fall over their tongue. I don't know why it is such a problem for able-bodied people to treat disabled people as 'normal', because we are, 'normal' it's just that we sometimes have to approach life differently in order to live as close to normal as possible.

I feel very sorry for people who seem genuinely terrified of saying the wrong thing to a disabled person and therefore end up saying nothing. Shockingly, just recently I attended a hospital clinic and having taken my details, the nurse said, "Please, take a seat" and then realising I was in a wheelchair, started to apologise profusely. I just laughed and said, "Please don't apologise. It's absolutely no problem and anyway I have one surgically attached to my bum!" She did laugh but said she felt terrible and I asked her why. She couldn't really tell me why but I think it is just a stigma that has been attached to disability for so long that it isn't going away any time soon.

It's certainly better than it was years ago. I can remember a time when children were told not to touch or speak to a disabled person as though the disability would be transferred to the child if he did not heed the warning.

I have to say I prefer the joking to the rudeness any day. I've replaced my usual self-depreciation with jokes and have to admit that I get a much better response from people now.

I think the sketches from the comedy Little Britain, has really helped to break down the barriers between disabled and able-bodied people because it dared to laugh in the face of disability and that's a good thing.

While out shopping the other day I was waiting patiently in a queue when someone with a pitying look shook their head and said, "It must be awful being...you know?" and motioned her head towards me. I simply said, "Excuse me, love. Whose got the chair and is sitting comfortably in the queue?" I could hear several people stifle a laugh which was great.

Of course everyone is different but for the most part I believe most disabled people would prefer to have a good old belly laugh at a joke about disability. Perhaps laughing at it will make it easier for some to come to terms with. It's horrible and frightening if you suddenly become disabled whereas being disabled from birth means that it is the 'norm' for that person and I think they cope with their life much better.

I love laughing, I love jokes and I love life. I'm just the same as everyone else except I use wheels instead of legs and feet to get around and I may take longer too do things but I get there in the end.

It's true what they say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone". I've always thought that humour was a great medicine so I would prescribe a good laugh three times a day.

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Permalink Reply by Paul Richoux on October 9, 2015 at 14:20

Love your response Ailsa.

I think it's interesting that you mention Little Britain considering that the show courted controversy often enough. But I think there is still an awkwardness around disability where some people are so worried they will be thought to be offensive or cruel to a person who is disabled, that the only emotion they feel comfortable expressing is pity or sympathy. Which is of course a disservice. 

Everyone has something that differentiates them from others in some way, and joking about that lessens the distance it creates. That's my theory anyway.

Also excellent reaction you had in the super market. Keep up the laughs.

Paul

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Permalink Reply by Ailsa June MacLean on October 13, 2015 at 11:50

Thank you, Paul. Little Britain made me laugh and I used to tell my daughter when she was pushing my manual wheelchair that every time her attention was diverted I would be off round the aisles pulling displays over and generally causing havoc. It was an ongoing joke with us but we occasionally took it too far by having mock arguments ending with my daughter saying things like "Right that's it you're going into a nursing home" or similar threats. Unfortunately the men and women at the tills thought it was all for real so we had to tell them it was just us joking around .

I guess part of our joking  is due to the fact that my daughter once did stand up comedy and I was part of a comedy group called C.O.M.I.C. (Comedy on Merseyside In Creation). I'm really glad that I can see the funny side of disability because the hate crime I have seen and experienced first hand would probably have broken me.

Actually I hate shopping now because apparently I become invisible in shops! I regularly have people stepping in front of me in a queue and sometimes even the cashier can't see me as I've been ignored as the next customer in line on more than a few occasions. Sometimes I just let it go because I know that an argument will ensue if I say anything but other times I say in a very loud voice, "WOW! this invisibility cloak really works." It's amazing how quickly I become visible again!  

I totally agree, some people genuinely don't know how to behave around someone who is disabled and some are at risk of falling into the category of indirect discrimination". They can almost over help a disabled person.

Disabled people can be their own worst enemy too. I've heard some give a curt reply to the offer of assistance. I've even felt the need to apologise to a cashier when an extremely rude person in a wheelchair  declined their assistance to put their shopping into a carrier bag. There is no excuse on either side for rudeness and bad temper. I told her "I'm sorry you were treated like that. We're not all like that" but unfortunately bad behaviour like that makes it even harder for us to be treated "normal".

I watched Crime Watch last night and one of the incidents discussed was hate crime. It's terrible to think that we are in 2015 and still hate crime is rising.  We are all made with the same basic compounds, skin, bones, blood etc. although for some of us the mould went a bit squ whiff so we didn't turn out quite the same but why is that a reason to hate us? I don't understand what it is about us that upsets people. Our lives aren't any easier than theirs, a lot of us still have to work despite our disabilities, we don't get anything for free, achievements in our life is harder to obtain and life in general is often harder to cope with. I think most of us would be happy to swop places with Joe public so what is their beef with us?

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